I give you Megan's turkey essay.

Salutations, I am Ambrosius (am-bro-O-si-us) Bosschaert (bo-s-chart) the Elder. I was born 1573 in the Netherlands. I have been painting all my life, and have been working on a particular still life painting for a while, and then I saw
him:the turkey for my painting. He is perfect in every way. I will have him, I must have him. Prachting (wonderful), I shall rename my painting
Still life with Turkey.My new turkey has a marvelous descriptive quality: I must depict him, make him unblemished in the painting. I will start at the top, and work my way down until I have described every duim (inch) of this magnificent bird. He stares out at you with a beady, black eye, endless as the space between the stars. He also has an elegant, cherry-colored wattle, that beckons the eye to stare. His shoulders curve gracefully down, leading right to his arms rested about his phenomenal waist.
When my turkey announces his presence, he does it by gobbling in a sweet voice not unlike that of a piccolo. After announcing his presence, his skin flushes chocolate-toned, darker than the bronze god he usually is. This makes his shoulders glorious, like a diamond to the eye, because of the way he lifts them when he gobbles. Along with this, when my turkey enters the room I almost laugh with delight at the way the light keenly glints off his satin belt. In his dashing black silk pants, my turkey cuts a striking figure next to the fruit in my Still Life.
However, I have a dilemma. I know I have been calling my turkey "him" the entire time I have been describing him, but the truth is: I do not know if he is a he; it may be a she. So you see my problem in putting my turkey in pants. A girl in pants, even if it is a mere lowly turkey! With a swish of my brush, I would bring shame on my family, to me, my turkey! I would be shunned as an artist; a outcast like the lepers. I shall have to risk it, for he does look splendid.
The turkey is more artistic than the whole Earth together, with his bronze feathers and elegant appearance. However, I must return to my painting. I hope that Weinig Turkije (little turkey) will keep his pose....